Lord Mandelson has revealed that he would rather do something easier.
In the interview, conducted last night, the business secretary admitted he had seen a man getting paid good money to dance badly on TV with a hot blonde woman.
“I’d be up for that” he explained, “I’ve been doing politics badly for many years and it’s time to apply those skills elsewhere”.
“When I started in politics it was all pretty straightforward, we just did what we wanted and nobody really minded. Recently though the economy, healthcare service and education system have all totally fallen apart and everyone’s looking round as if I’m expected to do something about it.
“My message to the nation is this – I’m one of the team who sat around doing nothing while it got into this state, I’m certainly not interested in fixing things now. I’m ready to move into a role where I just mess about. I’d also be prepared to consider a well-paid role testing mattresses, preferably with another hot blonde woman.”