Recession “Set To Be As Bad As The Black Death”

Senior treasury ministers last night warned the nation that the latest recession could be as bad as the black death that ravaged the country in the 14th century.

Speaking from Whitehall, Chancellor Alistair Darling warned of complacency and said “We must not underestimate the potential for this recession to deepen, widen and darken. The outlook if I continue to sit around and do nothing is very very bad indeed”.

Historians believe the black death may have killed as much as 20% of the English population but treasury advisers assured voters at a press conference that “mostly only the poor will be affected”.

Ministers have advised those worst hit by the recession to self-flagellate and avoid inhalation of so-called “credit crunch miasma”.